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 Vogue called me the chicest chien in Paris, so naturellement Haute Couture is always a high point, but this year more that ever with the arrival of the first issue of Mutt Mag featuring French designer Jean Charles Castelbajac and I on the cover for his haute couture debut. I felt proud to lend my support in the official magazine of mutleydog.com and what a splash!
At Christian Dior, the very first show, Elle Macpherson positively grabbed a copy of Mutt Mag out of my paws and began enthusing over the amazing selection of talent in the Candid Canine centre spread. But I reckon The Body was clearly thinking The Cover. "This is great" she said before mugging up for a snap. We gave great face as supermodel met supermodel. This girl knows how to get ahead.
Though I have entered the world of glossies my film project at Cannes Film Festival was not forgotten -The Talented Mr Mutley. So spotting Steven Spielberg with Elle, I pounced. This was a pitch he won't forget. More of a lunge.
Trying to get Spielberg on board as director, I have to confess, was not such an easy sell. In fact he looked positively unnerved at the idea of helming my debut blockbuster. "I am allergic to your fur" he quailed. Frankly this didn't wash. After all the man was quite happy to direct gigantic prehistoric monsters rampaging through a forest and he found adorable the unearthly and, if I may say, none too asthetic ET. Surely I have a head start over that hairless alien. And do I even have to mention Jaws?
Though I had also written new lines of dialogue, "The name is Dale. Airedale" and " The name is West. West Highland" plus suggested the inspired marketing tie-in of a spiffy line in Winalot fancies for my sleuth columnist persona, it was not to be.
If Spielberg was not entirely on side, not so Milla Jovovich. "I heard all about you at the Berlin Film Festival and have been dying to meet you" she gushed, before scooping me up in her arms. Milla confided that she was going to be the surprise celebrity model for Jean Paul Gaultier the following day, though I got to twirl with her first. As she was evoking timeless Parisian elegance, inspired by the likes of Kiki of Montparnasse, I was obviously a great help as the ultimate symbol of chic for the smart French lady.
Another of my fair ladies was Erin O'Connor who had a starring role for the famously dog friendly Alexander McQueen. For Givenchy she wrapped herself in the Union Jack and then, a day later, herself around me. Outside the Ungaro show on the banks of the Seine, under the magnificent Pont Alexandre lll, Erin welcomed me aboard her Fairway Villager golf buggy used as a shuttle from backstage to catwalk. I felt like the trendiest Banana Split ever as we chatted. Erin was rushing to a Chanel appointment but she was happy to tarry a while with moi. Wonderful.
At Cannes I railed against dogism, sad to say it also exists in the world of high fashion. Without a dog on the catwalk the Dior show even managed to turn the lead into an unsavory accessory. Not allowed into many shows, I considered that rather rum given our cherished status with fashion folk and regular appearances on the catwalk. Why not the front row? Accepting this snub was made far easier by the warmth of my adoring public and, anyway, I decided Haute Couture was a platform for another issue.
Air kisses.
Well I say forget that. Go the whole hog and snog. A slobbery kiss cuts through all that fashion world superficiality. Darling. Sweetie. Mario Testino and I are of the same charm school. "Mutley! How are you." went up the cry as he left the Chanel show. Hugs and I planted a kiss on his cheek. Just two weeks ago we had met close to my appartment in the Marais and snacked on a fallafel together.
Aside from Elle and Milla, other favourite nuzzlers included actor Vincent Gallo, American Vogue's Andre Leon Talley (despite certain 'issues') , Loewe designer Narciso Rodriguez and London's very own Bella Freud. Maybe she went just a little too far. No tongues Bella!
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Muttcouture - Show Report